Log in

No account? Create an account
21 March 2009 @ 12:22 pm
Throw my heart away  
Title: Throw my heart away
Start Date/End Date: 21 March
Author: festives//supergeneration
Pairing: Leeteuk/Taeyeon & Kangin/Taeyeon
Genre: angst (implied death and fluff)
Word Count: 1881
Disclaimer: I don't own them, only the story is mine. and i'm not english native, please be understanding.
A/N: i got so into vampire!teuk.... wanted to write more................. and i guess my new theme is angsty vampire!teuk. Taeyeon POV.

As I walked down the street, I could hear someone call my name. It was like a wind. But I just shuddered and kept walking. Until it was like the wind wouldn't stop whispering my name. I thought to myself that it must be someone playing a silly prank on me. But then I could feel someone walk past me, I overreacted and ran into a dark alley.
I stood there, didn't know what to do. I don't think I was scared. But... Excited? Nothing creepy had ever happened to me. This was a new experience, and I didn't want to miss it. So I stood there in almost a hour. But I gave up, so I was thinking off starting to walk home, until I felt that I couldn't move my body. I stood there, like my legs was stuck. Too myself I smiled of joy, but realized that it wouldn't be fun if I was happy.
I started to hear the whispering over and over again, until I felt cold arms embrace me. I slowly closed my eyes, waiting for something to happen. But as I just stood there, with the cold arms around me, I started to feel cold. I wanted to go home. To tuck myself up in my warm bed. But the arms wouldn't let go, I tried to unfold them, I tried to walk away. But the arms was made of stone. I could hear myself whisper begging words. The cold body, the cold arms, was so close, so close to my body, that it felt like I would become ice.

Woke up by feeling the sun shine on my face trough my bedroom window. As I slowly open my eyes I see that it's all white outside. As my whole face turns into a smile I excitedly got up from bed, roughly put on my clothes and ran out to throw myself in the snow. As I was laying in the cold snow I got reminded about what happened some months ago. Quickly I stood up on my two feets, shuddered of all the snow from my cold body and was turning around to walk into my apartment, when I saw him. My high school crush. The guy I was DJ'ing with. When he saw I saw that adorable smile creep up on his face. He walked up to me and crushed me in a warm hug. Then he looked at my clothes, my hair, and saw me wet and snowy. He laughed heartily and tapped me on my head. "What have the little girl been doing huh? Lets take you inside." He said as he laid his arm on my shoulder and followed me in.
"So I guess you wont make it too the radio today?" I looked at him with asking eyes
"Why?" he looked at me with a cheap smile
"Well, since you're all wet. I'm sure if you don't lay in your bed all day you will get the flu you just got healthy from."
I looked at him as he looked back with those small warm eyes. "It will be good to DJ alone today." he said as another cheap smile covered his whole face. I frowned at him and hit him with my toy hammer I found under my bed the other day.
"You know you'll miss me~"
I watched him from my window as he proudly walked away down the street. I noticed myself smiling at him. I noticed myself smiling the whole day after being with him.
Even when I was laying in my bed at night trying to sleep, the smile was there.
But when I fell asleep I noticed myself waking up by being cold. And then I saw that my window was open. I wondered if I really opened the window before I went to bed. But I didn't, and it would be impossible for a human to open this window from outside since I lived on the 6th floor. But I just closed the window and laid down in my bed again. But this time I couldn't fall asleep. I had the feeling that someone was watching me.
After a while I could finally fall asleep. But I fell asleep, still with the feeling of that someone was watching me.

The next day when I woke up I was still feeling cold. Once again when I looked at the window, it was open. Half scared I looked out and then closed safely. That was when I saw blood on my floor. I wanted to scream, but nothing came out from my mouth. Scared I could feel tears slowly pour down on my cheeks. Where did this blood come from? It was not from me... But then I scared started to look trough my apartment. She was not there. She was gone... Until I came to the bathroom, slowly I opened the door and screamed when I saw Cherry lay in the bathtub, covered in blood.

One week, two weeks, three weeks after my dog dying dramatically. I was mostly at home, locked up. Walking around with my hands folded together like I was praying. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, didn't talk, didn't see. I was a body walking around without a soul. I don't think it was because my dog died, I was more shocked and scarred.
Every night I imagined someone scratching on my window. I remember screaming at the window, I remember throwing pillows at it. I remember him, my high school crush, my only friend, coming home to me every week. He came with food, he tried to feed me, he tried to make me go out and play with the snow with him. I never said thanks for keeping me alive. I never said anything to him. When I heard him lock on the door (a secret code) I just locked up the 40 locks I had on my door and opened the door for him and let him walk in.
He said that I maybe would feel better to talk with someone, always the same thing. I never answerd him when he said that. I just looked at him. I saw his pained expression. I wanted to hug him and scream 'I love you' to him. But I was to weak to even try. I was to scared.
One day he made me go out. It was nice to feel the wind blow in my new washed hair, the fresh air was wonderful. But it was so cold that I couldn't walk. So he supported me, he took my weak arm and laid it on his shoulders. I smiled to myself, he was always so warm, so at once, he made me warm again.
By walking out like that, it made me happier. He came more often, and when he came I at least smiled at him. I could see the pained expression in his face soon fade away. And soon, I was 'healthy' again as they said when I got back to the radio. I had even stopped locking my window.
But again, I woke up in the early morning having the feeling that someone was watching me. And I was right. Right there in front me stood the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His pale skin was almost glowing. His hair laid perfectly on his face. He didn't smile. He didn't talk. He just looked at with me a pained(?) expression.
Slowly I raised up and sat straight in my bed. I looked at him with my trying-to-be-warm eyes. I made a motion that I wanted him to sit next to me.
I wasn't scared. I had promised myself to not be scared anymore. I didn't even wonder how he got there.
I watched him as he sat down gracefully beside me. I watched him for many hours. He didn't look anywhere. His eyes spaced out somewhere else. But as the sun started to rise he quickly got up from my bed and jumped out from my window. I didn't realize that normal people would worry if someone jumped down from the 6th floor, but I just sat there. Staring at the spot where he sat. I stroke my hand over the spot where he had been. "Cold..."

Everything was pretty much back to normal, except there was no one who welcomed me happily when I got home after a whole days schedule. I tried to not think about it, and soon, I had almost forgot everything about it. The beautiful man never came again. He never sat beside me in my bed again.
I never told anyone about that, I knew people would think I had gone crazy again and they would lock me up in a room with white pillows. And I didn't want that, I wanted people to think I was 'healthy' again and back to normal. Although, inside I knew nothing would ever go back to normal.
Although, I was much closer to my high school crush now than before. And it made me happy and giddy. He would always text me with something like "When does your schedule end?" and a heart at the end.
But I knew a relationship would be impossible with him. And he knew the same thing. You can say he had a lot of girl fans and I already had to many anti fans. But just being able to contact him trough text messages made me warm and happy inside. But now a days he was so busy, he had just had his comeback with his group and I was under a hiatus from my solo singer career.
A night after my schedule I was walking home from radio, since I missed the bus and nobody could drive me home. But I said I was fine with it. My crush looked worriedly at me, gave me peck and said he would pray for me to arrive at home safely.
And then as I walked on the streets, I looked around and realized that this was where 1 year ago, a cold person held me in an alley. As I thought of it I shivered and just walked a little faster. But then again, I could feel someone following me I tried to look like I didn't care. But then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stopped. The time stopped. Everything stopped. And I turned around. And there he stood. That beautiful man. He looked at me with pained eyes and then disappeared. And I heard a scream. And I ran and ran. Until I found the place where the scream came from. I saw the beautiful man stand there, looking at a dead girl who laid on the street. I looked up at him with worried eyes, wondering why he didn't do anything. He just looked at me, again with those pained eyes. As he wanted to cry but couldn't. As he wanted to scream but he couldn't. I could feel my hand slowly touch his cheek, I could feel my hand stroke him. He didn't say anything, he just stood there.
I looked at him with tearful eyes and said
"It's you right? It was you, right?"